Some Thoughts on Murder

Okay, I know that I shouldn't have blown up on Laertes like that, but I just loved Ophelia so much...I..I just couldn't control myself. Now I have a much larger problem at hand, I know that my uncle must really want me to be dead right now, and I am wondering how he might try to achieve this. I know that he will have no problem getting Laertes to do his bidding. I understand that I am to compete in a duel with Laertes later today, no body is supposed to get hurt, but with my luck he will really try to kill me. There is also a chance that he may poison me, I mean he's done it once already, but I think the best course of action would be to trust no one. I also think that I will stop messing around with the antic disposition. I mean it was working, but it helped contribute to Ophelia's death, and at this point I do not believe that it will do me much good. I expect to end this tragedy before things really get out of hand. I still have no idea how I am going to do it, but I guess that I have justice on my side, or Carma, or I must have something, I mean Claudius has the whole state of Denmark behind him, I have my wits and a ghost that only seems to appear to make life harder for me. Think...think, what can I do. I suppose that I could just go and kill Claudius now and take the throne back, but that could cause an uprising of the people, and then what kingdom, or even justice would I have if everybody believed that the righteous king was killed by the treacherous son...nephew...thing. Plus do I really want to sink to his level and become a murderer, the only way that I beleive that I could get through this cleanly, would to kill him as he attempted to killed me. Of course we do always get back to my death, for maybe it would be better for me to die, for it would end all of the tension in my country and would free me. I will have to think more about this later, for now I guess I will play their games.

I'm Back, but Traffic Was Killer

Hey I'm back, sorry about that, but I feel a lot better now. I really can not believe that this whole stream of events came from my mother marrying my murderous uncle, I mean why couldn't she just stay faithful to my father? I tried to point this out to her and do you know what she did? She kissed me, I mean I know that I'm her son ans everything, but come on, that is an odd why to try and end a fight isn't it? I can tell you it calmed me down, until the ghost showed up again, then everything just went out the window. He told me to tell my mother not to sleep with my uncle any longer, and I that that she thought that I was crazy. She seemed to listen to me after my mother calmed down, but I am worried that she will betray me.. I guess we will just have to wait and see. In the meantime I am going to have to find a way to avoid the punishment that I will receive for killing Polonious.

My only love... gone..

A graveyard is such an...interesting place, isn't it? So many different people, lives, ones with such different ideas...all ending up in the same place. Why, in my recent visit along with my friend Horatio I saw the skull of my father's court jester, Yorick, dust and all. He had always been so cheerful...ironic how someone full of joy ends up in a place surrounded by nothing but darkness. Though, soon enough I found that Yorick was not the only one I cared for in the graveyard. I saw a funeral about to take place so I hid with Horatio nearby. My mother, my uncle, and oddly enough, Ophelia's brother had been there. I listened for a brief moment, discovering the unthinkable: Ophelia is dead. Why, WHY did it have to be her?! Why couldn't I have taken her place? I know I have acted poorly to her recently but.. I still love her. Her brother tried attacking me when I went near the grave; he doesn't understand! I loved her even more then he did, I would think.. I didn't mean for things to end this way. Ophelia was shoved into this entire plot and her death is all my fault! But no more; I'll settle my revenge now, once and for all.

Meeting with Mom

I never meant to kill Polonias...but I thought that he was my uncle trying to eaesdrop on the meeting between my mother and I. Of course I had thought that if it was him maybe because he was just waiting to go to bed with my mother, and I said I would only kill him if he was doing something like drinking, or when he was in bed with the wife that he stole. I thought that if I had the chance to kill him I should take it. Though I'm not that upset that he died, the old windbag. Hey I need to go to McD's the stress of this whole thing is killing me.

Inaccurate Murder?

I have taken yet another large step. A while after the incident with the play, I went to go see my mother after being summoned. I wasn't entirly sure why she wanted to see me, and when I had entered her room, just before I really began to talk to her, I heard something behind a curtin. I thought for sure that it was my uncle; unfortunatly though, I had...been mistaken. Polonius, Ophelia's father, was the one hiding. I...I didn't mean for him to die; caught in the middle of it, I suppose. Ophelia will be distrought when she finds out....In any case my mother started to question me-and I snapped. I began telling her everything about Cladius; that she shouldn't trust him, that my father had been a true king, and that she shouldn't sleep with him anymore. She just looked at me like as if I was a madman, and she probably thought I really was mad after I had finally stoped. Reason being, I had seen the ghost. He was just standing there...looking at me. He told me to not loose focus on what I was supposed to be doing. I had asked my mother if she had seen him at all, but no; she saw nothing. So now...I must leave. I need to find a place to hide that body...

My uncle IS a murderer!

My plan has proven to succeed perfectly! The ghost had been true all along. With my little.. addition, to the Mouse Trap play, I know for a fact that my uncle had killed my father. During the scene where the king in the play went to sleep, my uncle became nervous; when the poison was pored into the king's ears, my uncle fled the room in a panic! I couldn't contain myself after that, I jumped up and yelled to him while he fled. Though my mother seemed a little concerned after that... never the less! I soon left the room myself to go avenge my father's death. When I had come across my uncle, he had, unfortunately, been praying for forgiveness, this more than anything proves his guilt. I would have dealt with him right there, but... I began to think. Wouldn't he be forgiven for praying? When I kill him would he not be sent to heaven? What would be the point in murdering him when he wouldn't even get the pain he deserves? I wasn't sure; so I have decided to wait once again. Maybe when he is drunk... though I promise, the next time I get the chance, he won't be as lucky.

I'm not exactly sure about this whole... living... thing...

To live, or not to live; there lies my uncertainty.
Is it more noble to continue living in agony
within the everyday troubles of life
or to go against my woes
and by going against them, force them to cease. To cease living, to rest;
To no longer live, and no longer living end
the pain and the never ending sufferings
that humans are subjected to- a union
that is predestined. To cease living, to rest;
to rest, and maybe yearn. Ha! There's the irony.

If I am no longer living, what can I desire
if I am no longer on this Earth?
There's the admiration
that makes living so long a tragedy
because who would want to live through the torment
throughout the globe, the egotistic man’s discourtesy,
the pain of unreturned love, the slow process of law,
the ill-mannered law enforcement,
and the insults that the submissive suffer
instead of just easing the pain away with a simple stab?
Who would be a creature of obligation,
worn and fatigued,
if it wasn’t for the wavering thought of life after death
– an unknown world where
travelers do not return – and it makes us uncertain,
and we choose suffering,
rather than soar into the unknown?
Our intelligence makes us sissies,
And it’s why our willpower (normally strong and healthy)
seems bleak through all our over thinking.
Because of this, even our most important actions lose force.

I have taken the first steps to avenging my murdered father, if he was indeed murdered. I am contemplating whether or not I should kill my dear uncle, but I do not even know if the ghost that visited me was really that of my father. I have contrived a plan to test the validity of the story that this apparition has feed me. I have invited a troupe of actors to the castle to perform The Murder of Gonzago, plus I have fed them some of my own lines to make the story a bit more familiar. I have arranged the plot to mirror the death of my father, and as my uncle watches this spectacle I will observe his reaction, for he cannot see a murder that he has committed, and have absolutely no reaction.
Also I have begun to act with an antic disposition and am starting to see the fruits of this interesting plan. Surely no one will suspect me of any suspicious behavior in my mental state, or at least the mental state that they see me in! Polonius visited me today, I can imagine that it was because of my strange behavior around his daughter, and my love Ophelia. Though I am not positive that this was the true reason for his visit. It was entertaining to say the least, they all really do think I am a nut job. In fact I believe that the arrival of my friends Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, happened to engineered by my mother and uncle to try an discern what may be wrong with me. Though they claim that they have good intentions I suspect that there is something wrong with those intentions.

My Father Murdered?

I had a very interesting experience today. It seems that my father has left a ghost on this earth and he will not be able to leave until justice has been done. Horatio and Marcellus had told me of this apparition before, yet it is a much more extraordinary event to meet the ghost in the flesh, or whatever it may be made of. The ghost would not speak and beckoned me away. My friends tried to stop me and looking back I can see that it was probably a very foolish idea to follow this ghost. They tried to stop me but I was so enraptured by this strange apparition that I could not fight my desire to follow. It appears that my father was not killed by a snake as it was previously believed. According to the ghost that called me my father was killed by a by a snake though that same snake now wears my fathers crown, his own brother. I do not know what to think of this, I was surely upset when my mother and uncle married, but I had no previous thought that my uncle may have murdered my father. I do not know what to think, is this ghost real? But it has to be for both Horatio, and Marcellus were with me and saw what was there. Then again could this be a trick of some greater power? I so not know, I do not know that this apparition was even really a ghost, though this is my first instinct. I will have to investigate this matter further, but until that day that I have come to the bottom of this matter I have had both Horatio and Marcellus swear on my sword that they will not tell of what they saw, or that they will not think anything of any changes in my behavior that may come about do to this strange string of circumstances. though they at first refused the voice of that strange apparition came back in furry and demanded that they would swear on that sword. I don't know what to do for I can not take for granted what this ghost of my father has told me, yet at the same time I can not ignore the fact that my father may have been murdered by my dear, dear uncle, ugh...all that I can do now is hide this strange occurrence, for no one would believe this, especially in the face of the king. They would think that I had gone crazy, and that is the last thing I need. I may need as much support as I can get.

A Very Unhappy Prince

My name is Hamlet, and I am currently the only prince of Denmark. About thirty years old, I have attended the University of Wittenberg, and hope to one day be king. Unfortunately I have recently suffered a death in my family, as my father, King Hamlet, has passed away leaving the kingdom in a bit of an uproar. My mother, Queen Gertrude, rather than mourning the death of my father has run off with my uncle, Claudius (of all people). It's like she never really loved my father at all, that she only put up with him for the position, and as for my uncle, I have no doubt that he only wanted to be king. It seems like nothing is really going well right now, and I'm at a bit of a loss as to what I should do. I guess I'll just have to keep pushing on.