Some Thoughts on Murder

Okay, I know that I shouldn't have blown up on Laertes like that, but I just loved Ophelia so much...I..I just couldn't control myself. Now I have a much larger problem at hand, I know that my uncle must really want me to be dead right now, and I am wondering how he might try to achieve this. I know that he will have no problem getting Laertes to do his bidding. I understand that I am to compete in a duel with Laertes later today, no body is supposed to get hurt, but with my luck he will really try to kill me. There is also a chance that he may poison me, I mean he's done it once already, but I think the best course of action would be to trust no one. I also think that I will stop messing around with the antic disposition. I mean it was working, but it helped contribute to Ophelia's death, and at this point I do not believe that it will do me much good. I expect to end this tragedy before things really get out of hand. I still have no idea how I am going to do it, but I guess that I have justice on my side, or Carma, or I must have something, I mean Claudius has the whole state of Denmark behind him, I have my wits and a ghost that only seems to appear to make life harder for me. Think...think, what can I do. I suppose that I could just go and kill Claudius now and take the throne back, but that could cause an uprising of the people, and then what kingdom, or even justice would I have if everybody believed that the righteous king was killed by the treacherous son...nephew...thing. Plus do I really want to sink to his level and become a murderer, the only way that I beleive that I could get through this cleanly, would to kill him as he attempted to killed me. Of course we do always get back to my death, for maybe it would be better for me to die, for it would end all of the tension in my country and would free me. I will have to think more about this later, for now I guess I will play their games.